This Just in, from the Atomic Energy Commission:
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium(symbol=Gv), has one neutron , 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons . Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes . This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass . When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomesAdministratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Labels: Political Humor
A very important vote is happening in the Tarheel state this week, one that I have been looking forward to for many years. Specifically, we gunnies are trying to get the elite in Raleigh to admit we have some civil rights. North Carolina currently has several restrictions on concealed carry, one of the most onerous being the prohibition of concealed carry in any restaurant that serves alcohol for consumption. (i.e. you can drink your beer while you eat.) It is already prohibited to consume alcohol in any quantity while packing, so the concerns of the wide eyed frothy mouthed hoplophobes are unfounded. All this bill would do is allow me and my family to go into the local steak house and enjoy a meal without me being forced to leave my CCW in the car, where it is more likely to be stolen (and thus be used in one of those infamous "GUN CRIMES.")
With this in mind, I have been following the bill (HR 111) pretty closely with the help of the good folks at Grass Roots NC, as well as the NC General Assembly. The bill itself can be found here.
Having left voice mails with my local representative, and emails with the list provided by GRNC, I was feeling pretty good about myself. That is, until I got this snippy reply from one of the ‘swing’ votes:
Thank you for your email. Representative Rapp believes that in order for this bill to be adopted it needs some tweaking. Thank you for taking time to contact us.
Legislative Assistant to Rep. Ray Rapp
Office 2213 State Legislative Bldg.
Raleigh, N. C. 27601-1096
Tweaking? TWEAKING? Not that I expect any respect from these clowns, but you’d think they could manage a better lie than that. Apparently, they think that will be the end of the matter, and they can forget about me. Obviously, they do not know me very well:
Dear Ms. Matney:
I appreciate your reply. However, I would appreciate very much some clarification on the term 'tweaking.' Specifically, could you explain what you find objectionable in the bill as written? Please be advised I will be following this vote very carefully, and like most honest citizens, would consider weakening amendments just as bad as voting against it.
I await your explanation.
That’s where the matter stands at the moment. I’m not getting any hopes up for a polite reply, or for that matter any reply at all. Even if this bill gets passed, it’s almost certain to be vetoed by our botox-enhanced Governess, and it is unlikely we have the votes to override a veto. Of course, if enough of us put pressure on the elected representatives, it could happen. So, what say you? Are you ready to fight for your God given rights yet, or are you content sitting in the back of the buss? You don’t need to be a member of GRNC to use the email service there, but you really should be a member and join the fight. We can use all the help we can get.