Confederate Sharpshooter

Oh, the joy of being investigated. As a part of renewing my drivers license this year, the state DMV sent me a letter this week informing me that I would be required to pass a Federal background check, complete with fingerprinting, FBI investigation, NCIC checks, the works. All this under the watchful eyes of the TSA, those friendly folks who pry through your luggage and ask you to remove your shoes each time you want to travel.

What, pray tell, did I do to incur this honor? I have a 'hazardous materials' endorsement on my CDL.

It would be simpler for me to just let it slide, give up the endorsement, or better yet just drop to a class C license and save a bunch of money. I have not driven a class A vehicle in some years, and have no plans to start back. But it is a lot easier to keep a CDL that it is to get one back. Plus, it's a pride thing. I worked hard driving 'back in the day' and if things got bad enough, I want that option to do so again. But still...

My first drivers license was a 'chauffeurs license' which cost an extra $5 then, and required that you score 85 or better on the written test, instead of the normal 70. That was all. I did this when I was 16 years old so I could earn money driving a school bus before and after school. (yes, back then 16 year olds were allowed to drive school buses. I loved it.)

Now, here's what I will be required to do: 45 days prior to renewal, fill out paper work here. Please note this is not cheap- $90 for the service, plus taking at least a half day off from work, and gas money to go to a not-very-close big city. Payment in advance, and non refundable.
If you look at the forms, please note a few things: under 'military status' you have only two choices: 'dishonorably discharged' or 'other.' To me, that is kind of insulting. I was "Honorably discharged." I should have that option, not 'other.' Then look at the 'SSN' option: you have the option of not disclosing your SSN, but gee, sorry, if you decide to exercise that option we can't process your application and you will lose your license. Sorry about that. What is it they say? if you aren't allowed to exercise your rights, then you don't have any? Oh well.

Then, hopefully, in a month or so I will get a letter stating I am not a menace to society or otherwise prohibited from handling 'hazardous materials.' With that in hand, I am allowed to report to the DMV and take the written tests- in my case, 7 written tests: motorcycle, class A endorsement, air brakes, tanker, twin trailers, passenger vehicle, and of course hazardous materials.

I would like to point out here that none of this insures that I am either a safe, nor a decent, driver. All it insures is that I can fill out the proper forms and can pass a written test. Some of the best long-haul drivers I ever knew had problems with the forms and tests required now.

My first chauffeurs license cost $15.

This trip to the DMV:
DOT physical- $90
Background screening: $90
Basic CDL test: (application fee) $30
Class A fee $15 per year, or $120 for 8 years.
Endorsement fees: $3 per endorsement, or $21.

Grand total: $351.00 This does not include losing at least 2 partial days from work, nor the medication required to lower my blood pressure after dealing with the bureaucracy.

The sad part of all of this, even with your tax dollars- gas taxes, general fund taxes, etc. -paying for the salaries and infrastructure of of all this, I'll bet they still lose money.

And some of you want to turn our health care and banking industries over to the likes of these people? God forbid!