Confederate Sharpshooter

It has become an all to common headline, so much so that often it is glanced over and forgotten...

Husband Charged in Woman's Death

There are valuable lessons to be learned here, for those willing to pay attention. First, a few money quotes from the story, and follow up stories:

Authorities found Hiatt unresponsive Sunday night with a gunshot wound to her left temple, bound by the legs with a leather jacket in a 2006 Chevrolet Silverado that belonged to her parents, Surry County Sheriff Graham Atkinson said. They were responding to a 911 call that reported a breaking and entering at Hiatt Asphalt Paving Company, after a neighbor reported seeing someone using a backhoe at the business location at 280 Dusty Lane.

Read a bit further, and you'll find that the murderer was using the backhoe to dig a grave for the still living- barely- victim of the shooting. The rest of the story is all too predictable:

The 19-year-old Hiatt had two small children, Atkinson said. She had been living with her parents.

Hiatt’s estranged husband, 26-year-old Christopher Scott Hiatt, was considered “a person of interest” in the case because of prior domestic disputes, Atkinson said, but authorities were unable to locate him Sunday night.

And finally, the most important, and most predictable:

This is not Hiatt’s first stint in jail. He has several convictions, and accompany jail time, including guilty convictions on charges of possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, felony breaking and entering, resisting an officer, carrying a concealed weapon and felony possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

You may rest assured the usual crowd of anti-freedom zealots will use this tragedy to promote more restrictive gun control laws, ask for more money, and generally do nothing to really help.

I am not going to comment further on that aspect of the story.

Rather, I wish to speak to any young woman (or man) who even thinks they may be in an abusive situation. Pay attention to what this woman did wrong, and make yourself understand that it can happen to you, and if you ignore the warning signs, most likely is will happen to you.

This excuse for a human was a convicted felon. Warning sign number one. Yes, people are wrongly convicted of felonies every day. Yes, people can change, and turn away from evil. But the word several preceding felonies should offer a clue that this wasn't the case. The victim in this case was living back at home with her parents, probably for a good reason. The victim in this case had very recently had cause to charge the murderer with domestic assault, and then failed to show up for the court hearing, FORCING the court to dismiss all charges. That is mistake number two. Of course, a court order rarely changes criminal behavior, criminals by definition do not obey the law, they only obey force, and then only when it is visited upon them in a unavoidable manner.

In point of fact, the murderer in this case took resisting the law to the ultimate extreme: rather than surrender, he took his chances in exchanging gunfire with officers who knew how to shoot, with predictable results. Ironically, he was transported to the same hospital as his victim, via helicopter no less, and given the best medical treatment possible. When stabilized, only then was he charged and taken before a court officer, and transported to a cell to await a fair trial by peers.

Ladies, learn these lessons well: If he yells at you, sooner or later he will strike you. If he strikes you, the next time he will strike you harder. If he threatens to kill you one day, and tells you he loves you the next, you remember that he doesn't really love you, but he absolutely will kill you, perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but soon. Sooner than you think.

After learning these lessons, prepare for protecting yourself, if not for you, for your children. (anybody want to give odds on this SOB getting court ordered visitation with the kids while doing time, and being out while young enough to do it all over again?)

Number One: If you are not in this situation, do anything possible to stay that way. There are worse things in life than being alone. Being with the wrong person is one of those things.

Number Two: If you think it's bad now, don't make it worse. He (or she) won't 'get better' if you marry them. They won't 'stop hurting you' if you try and appease them. And for God's sake, having a baby won't make them act like a parent, any more than jumping in the ocean will make you a swimmer.

Number Three: If you have let things get to the point where violence has occurred, don't back up when the police arrive. Take out that protection order, show up for the court date, and DO NOT be talked into dropping charges. Some abusive spouses will back down when confronted with a court order. Some will not. So you will need to be prepared for number four....

Number Four: Be prepared to stop the force, with force. This young woman was not of legal age to purchase a firearm, but I am sure her parents were. Firearms are not always the best option in this type of case anyway, very few women have the discipline to use lethal force against the father of their children, no matter what the justification. Fortunately there are an infinite number of other things that can be done to protect yourself against a homicidal ex-spouse without lethal force, but they require more forethought. The first is developing a proper attitude to survival. This simply means thinking of avoiding the danger, rather than allowing the attacker to make the rules and pick the situation. This can be as simple as refusing to be near the person, by avoiding former places you used to go to together. Not opening the door when they show up uninvited. Making sure you have friends around when problems are likely. It's not hard to figure out, you just have to decide that you are going to really do it. And that, sadly, seems to be where things get difficult for people like this young woman. Predators always look for the weak, the low self esteem, those that can be dominated easily. That's what makes this such a difficult situation for those in danger. If this is you, wake up. You have only two options, to paraphrase Jose Wales: Get mean- mad dog, crazy mean- or die.

Because if you lose your head, you neither live, nor win.